Thank you for being a curious creature and visiting my blog. I have been offered a fantastic opportunity to write about my experiences before, during and after a Kinetic Comedy gig, so I thought it would be best to start with an overweight man in a mankini pleasuring himself.Anyone based in and around Kings Cross? You’ll know that it’s full of shit like that!
At first, all I noticed was a gentleman carrying a few extra pounds and a generous amount of body hair wrapped up in a cosy looking robe whilst looking at a computer screen. So far, not so strange.
My friend, Gemma and I were in the middle of tarting ourselves up for Kinetic, and needed to meet our friends (who would also be staying in our hotel) in an hour or so. What we didn’t have time for, was getting merry on rum that tasted like supermarket own-brand hairspray and spying on exhibitionist masturbators; but this was precisely what we did.
As the wolfman started to become more inventive with his positioning and pouting, he then started to undress. What stood before us was a guy who needed to eat less kebabs wearing a navy mankini over the top of fishnet tights. It was not a flattering look for the poor chap.
While falling about laughing and desperately trying not to smudge our mascara, we continued to watch as he ‘seductively’ caressed himself and placed his leg on the chair. Yes, a bollock did fall out.
As Gemma positioned herself at our window, camera in hand, our friend across the way had now managed to gain access to his mushroom dick and started to jerk it. As arousing as it sounds Readers, it was not. I think I may have actually screamed at this point. I did not want to die by the cum stained hands of a serial killer!
The next thing I saw was a flash and my friend fell to the floor as the public penis puller suddenly saw us and drew his curtains.
I was convinced that we were going to be murdered until we finally reached the tube, undetected. Please see below for the David Bailey-esque shot that nearly cost us our lives (and purity).
My name is Samantha and I love Kinetic Comedy. I am Inel’s bestest friend in the whole wide world so I kind of have to say that Kinetic’s great; but I do, honestly, think it is!
I live in a town called Petersfield, which is between Guildford and Portsmouth. Due to the great distance (what’s a couple of hours between friends), I tend to stay over with Becky and Harriet. Collectively, we are known as ‘The Peef Three’.
I like that Kinetic has become more than a one-night event for us. It involves strategic planning and often encourages us to make a proper weekend out of it. We are girls that like to have fun; but for the record, we have not once brought a guy back with us (we’re LADIES).
The reason I come to Kinetic Comedy almost every month is because it is a genuinely funny and warm show. The audience are cool kids who make everyone welcome, whether they’re old or new, and are always up for a laugh.
The Library is an intimate space which is rammed with smiling, happy people. The comedians are mostly ‘can’t-breathe-from-laughing-so-hard’ funny and Inel holds the night together with class. Each month delivers a new story, a new act and a new friend.
Has anybody else made an inappropriate friend at Kinetic? Ever witnessed anyone publicly masturbate? If so, please share with me. Don’t let me feel violated on my lonesome!
The story that makes me laugh the most will win a free Kinetic Comedy Members Card that grants you free entry for any 5 shows.
Until next time, Readers…. xxxx
You can follow Samantha on twitter by clicking HERE