Hello Readers!

Thank you for being a curious creature and visiting my blog. I have been offered a fantastic opportunity to write about my experiences before, during and after a Kinetic Comedy gig, so I thought it would be best to start with an overweight man in a mankini pleasuring himself.Anyone based in and around Kings Cross? You’ll know that it’s full of shit like that!

At first, all I noticed was a gentleman carrying a few extra pounds and a generous amount of body hair wrapped up in a cosy looking robe whilst looking at a computer screen. So far, not so strange.

My friend, Gemma and I were in the middle of tarting ourselves up for Kinetic, and needed to meet our friends (who would also be staying in our hotel) in an hour or so. What we didn’t have time for, was getting merry on rum that tasted like supermarket own-brand hairspray and spying on exhibitionist masturbators; but this was precisely what we did.

As the wolfman started to become more inventive with his positioning and pouting, he then started to undress. What stood before us was a guy who needed to eat less kebabs wearing a navy mankini over the top of fishnet tights. It was not a flattering look for the poor chap.

While falling about laughing and desperately trying not to smudge our mascara, we continued to watch as he ‘seductively’ caressed himself and placed his leg on the chair. Yes, a bollock did fall out.

As Gemma positioned herself at our window, camera in hand, our friend across the way had now managed to gain access to his mushroom dick and started to jerk it. As arousing as it sounds Readers, it was not. I think I may have actually screamed at this point. I did not want to die by the cum stained hands of a serial killer!

The next thing I saw was a flash and my friend fell to the floor as the public penis puller suddenly saw us and drew his curtains.

I was convinced that we were going to be murdered until we finally reached the tube, undetected. Please see below for the David Bailey-esque shot that nearly cost us our lives (and purity).

My name is Samantha and I love Kinetic Comedy. I am Inel’s bestest friend in the whole wide world so I kind of have to say that Kinetic’s great; but I do, honestly, think it is!

I live in a town called Petersfield, which is between Guildford and Portsmouth. Due to the great distance (what’s a couple of hours between friends), I tend to stay over with Becky and Harriet. Collectively, we are known as ‘The Peef Three’.

I like that Kinetic has become more than a one-night event for us. It involves strategic planning and often encourages us to make a proper weekend out of it. We are girls that like to have fun; but for the record, we have not once brought a guy back with us (we’re LADIES).

The reason I come to Kinetic Comedy almost every month is because it is a genuinely funny and warm show. The audience are cool kids who make everyone welcome, whether they’re old or new, and are always up for a laugh.

The Library is an intimate space which is rammed with smiling, happy people. The comedians are mostly ‘can’t-breathe-from-laughing-so-hard’ funny and Inel holds the night together with class. Each month delivers a new story, a new act and a new friend.

Has anybody else made an inappropriate friend at Kinetic? Ever witnessed anyone publicly masturbate? If so, please share with me. Don’t let me feel violated on my lonesome!

The story that makes me laugh the most will win a free Kinetic Comedy Members Card that grants you free entry for any 5 shows.

Get commenting!

Until next time, Readers…. xxxx

You can follow Samantha on twitter by clicking HERE


  • Samantha!

    Always wondered who it was at my window. Still have that mankini.


  • LOLZZZZZ….. scary hairy flabby mankini guy sounds creepy… thanks for posting this though. Very enlightening! Keep em coming! xxx

  • YAY! Finally i’m not the only person I know to have seen a man’s ball fall out of his mankini!

    Except I went all the way to Spain (and didn’t stalk anyone through a window…) it happened in broad daylight beside a road and the guy just shrugged and carried on drinking his beer!! It was a luminous green mankini too so you saw him from a mile off! We had to help my friend to a chair because she couldn’t stop laughing so hard that she was having trouble breathing!

    Claire has a game where when you’re on holiday you have too take as many pictures of men in speedos as possible (as you will see from her Dominican pictures which are littered with them!) Maybe you should start a competition to see how many pictures of men in mankini’s you can get! ;) hahaha

  • Sounds amazing – I want to come (for the comedy obviously, the overweight man in a mankini pleasuring himself would just be an added bonus!!) x

  • very good :)

  • I was very disappointed by the photo, thought I’d at least see a bollock!

  • Ugh…yuk! What kinda cheap n’nasty hotel were you in?!! Very funny,,,goes to prove that “there’s nought so queer as folk” See ya soon, ;)

    • Travelodge! It was the building across the road that housed the wanky dude though! You should come to Kinetic sometime, Greg. We might let you stay on the sofa…. ;-) x

  • Kinetic Comedy sounds amazing!!!!! I will try to make it along sometime, Sam you have sold it to me

  • Really good stuff Sam, rude and funny and i’d never expect anything less!
    keep it up :) x

  • So funny!!! also a little pervy lol!!!

    Comedy night sounds good too, may have to check it out xx

  • David 'Jiminy' Ribi
    Sunday, 22nd April 2012 6:02 pm

    Oh. My. God.
    Sam…. I cannot believe you were spying on me again. I was not wanking, i was just showing an online doctor a curious looking lump on my left bullock. As for the generous body hair… I’m only growing it because you asked me to. I must also add that if you had looked properly, you would have noticed that my willy is not Mushroom shaped, but rather more like a freshly trimmed Broccoli stem, over cooked but still hanging on for dear life.

    Next time you want to see me flashing my Veg and two meats just ask… you know i like a good willy wiggle.

    Congratulations on a humiliating (but f***ing hilarious) blog.

    Mr Cricket x

    • Hahahaha! This one has made me laugh the most so far! You’re definitely in the running for the Members Card, Ribideedoodah!

      And of course your willy doesn’t look like a mushroom……. More like….. an aubergine! ;-) x

  • This made me laugh so much! Keep up with the blog Sammy! This Kinetic comedy thing sounds like it would be a right laugh xxxxx
    Danielle xxxx

  • Good Stuff Sammy, :)

  • I love having our Kinetic Comedy night every month! Proud member of the Peef 3 :) Definately going to be keeping up with this blogging my lovely lady ;) x

  • Sounds great, I’ll definitely be coming down to check this one out!